Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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