I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
