I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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