why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
