brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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