weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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