you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize