Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
