sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
