she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
