just tell him i said nine months
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
bring money and cleavage
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize