the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
