can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
