he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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