I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
