when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Are we still banned from the library?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
