ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
