You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
