My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
