well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
