Kiss
Puke
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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