dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
