I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
