I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
