32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
