We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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