She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
