I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
