Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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