her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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