her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
