It's Friday. Sex?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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