I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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