Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
