Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
