She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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