Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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