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And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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