Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
