I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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