Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
