I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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