are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think people are normalizing furries
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
