Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
