I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize