I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
