I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize