I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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