You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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