i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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