Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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