My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
