last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
false alarm. still invincible.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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