we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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