I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
