White coat. Heels.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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