): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize