I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
