oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
