Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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