i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
