I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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