If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
