It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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